He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
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I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
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In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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