Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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