Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We just shotgunned beers for America
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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