You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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