i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
it's like iHOP with fire
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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