just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize