sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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