I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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