so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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