Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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