I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
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just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
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we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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