He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
