that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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