Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just come out here and I will go home with you...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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