If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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