In America we eat man semen.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She bit a glass in half.
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This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.