awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
