i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize