a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard