Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll