Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
