I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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