Jerry, you need to find god
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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