Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
