Who did Billy Mays play for?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
