i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize