those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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