So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
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