I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
