i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize