Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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