help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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