You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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