I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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