Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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