"it" just moved
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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