when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
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i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
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Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize