Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize