I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize