he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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