I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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