I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
