The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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