What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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