Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
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Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
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I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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