he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize