Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
