I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.