we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?