I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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