I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
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We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
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Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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