i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
